Is there a right way to propose?

After what has probably been a few long months, I have experienced a few major changes in my life so far. So much so that I think I’m gonna have to break it down into different blog posts.

I thought I would start of with the biggest life change in my life so far; I am now engaged. Yes, me and my girlfriend (now fiancée) have decided after 5 and a half years to get married. I have always had a massive idea about how I thought it would/should be done, I think every guy does. You know what I’m talking about – take the girl to it he most expensive restaurant in the world, get down on one knee, expose a rock so large you can’t look directly at it without fear of going blind, and give the most important love felt speech in your life. Suffice to say it did not go down this way. It ended up being a sporadic, on the spur moment, driven by impulse. It was a nice summer’s eve, and my girlfriend and I were sitting in the garden. I looked into her eyes, and I asked myself what I was waiting around for? I knew I wanted to be with her, so what was the point in waiting around? It felt right.. and I asked her.

I have always put pressure on myself to do it the “right” way. I want to give my girl everything, including the romance she deserves, and I had plans to achieve this. So initially I kind of thought I had let myself down by proposing in this way. But the more I thought about it, and discussed this with my fiancée, the more I was happy with the way we’d done it. The thing is I as many other people I know are not earning that much money, and that if I were to save up £2000+ for a ring it would take a fairly long amount of time. In the current job market, there is no way in hell I’m going to be able to get that sort of expendable cash quickly, and to be honest we’d rather put that money towards getting married sooner. To us its more about the love between us, and these physical things aren’t that important to us, we just wan’t to be together.

Now don’t get me wrong, if you know your other half wants to be spoiled and you have the money to achieve this easily then go for it, there’s nothing wrong with that. But don’t be fooled into thinking that is the most important thing to a proposal. What matters is the love between you, and if you’re both on the same page, and you both know you want to spend the rest of your lives together then why wait?

I’m tired of being stuck on the same page of life. I’m ready to start a new chapter right now.

Feeling stuck in life? Watch this.

When this man passed away, a lot of people where saddened. A lot of other people wondered what on earth he had actually done? Well if you were one of those people, wonder no longer.

I watched this just after I graduated, and it helped me immensely. It reminded me that everyone has a purpose, and just because your life does not go the way you originally planned it to, it doesn’t mean that it won’t lead you to the real path you were meant to be on.

Is all discrimination the same?

So yesterday I watched this video, I suggest you do the same just to know what I’m talking about. It concerns a news story about a restaurant in Knoxville, Tennessee, where the restaurant owner refused to serve a US Senator for his ignorant homophobic policies and statements (for future reference in this post I dub this the ‘initial situation‘). According to the video and news article this guy has said some pretty bad things in the past, such as comparing homosexuality to bestiality, and that it is ‘impossible to get AID’s if you’re heterosexual‘. He also promoted the ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill which would have prevented the discussion of homosexuality in American elementary and middle schools.

Now to your surprise this article isn’t about his supposed statements, or whether they might be right or wrong. I openly disagree with them, and hopefully this to you is something that doesn’t need to be debated. This is more about whether the restaurant has the right to reject him for being homophobic. The authors in the video argue that you have the right to believe in what you want , and say what you want, because freedom of speech is something everyone has the right to without fear of being ostracised. By refusing to allow the senator in, they in fact were discriminating against him for his beliefs, and you shouldn’t combat ignorance with discrimination. They proposed an ‘opposite situation’ in that if a restaurant had refused to serve someone  because they were pro-gay rights wouldn’t that be wrong? I however, am calling bulls**t on this one – they, to me, are not the same thing.

I am a firm believer of freedom of speech, and the right to believe what you want, but I also think that there is a limit to free speech. Its quite simple: if your speech promotes discrimination of a race, gender, or sexuality for no other reason than their race, gender or sexuality you are free to get the f**k out of the same room as me.  In this situation I totally agree with the restaurant owner and will fully back them. The difference between the ‘initial situation’ and the video’s ‘opposite situation’ is that the former is promoting discrimination, the latter combating it. The former shouldn’t be tolerated, the latter should be. I think that in this situation ‘discriminating’ against someone who promotes ignorance, prejudice and discrimination is A-OK.

I thus propose to you another, more accurate, ‘parallel situation’: where a person that had said known racist things in the past such as “Black people are not humans, they are monkeys,” and that “they are HIV infested,” was refused from a restaurant.  I believe this and the ‘initial situation‘ to be more accurate parallels because they are both combating discrimination. In neither of these two situations should the person’s beliefs be tolerated. Only it’s a lot easier to agree with the parallel situation because racism is something that in today’s day and age is absolutely abhorred and is recognized as wrong, incorrect, scientifically inaccurate etc… and if you disagree with a restaurant owner who has ejected a known racist, tbh I think there’s something wrong with you. The only difference is that unfortunately, homophobia still isn’t;  sexuality is still something that is openly debated in politics regarding  morality, and whether it is a lifestyle you choose.

So in the end it boils down as to whether you you hold sexuality as in the same esteem as gender, and race. I do, and thus  I agree with the restaurant owner’s actions.

If you however disagree with this, and that it is more a freedom of speech issue then feel free to comment!

(Any gay-bashing will be insta-blocked, you have been warned.)